Maybe she got tired of Mustachianism. Be resilient. Then there is thesocial shameattached to divorce in our culture. Everyone looks at the divorce rate, but nobody looks at the happily married rate when talking about marriages. Were friends now (six years later). December 31, 2018, 8:04 pm. Consider volunteering your time in/with/for a group that either supports your goals or has people similar to you. You are in crisis, so I think you need to take baby steps and ask everyone in your circle to help. 4. Loving the new YouTube channel, Ive missed the MMM one liners like We call this the oil well pants. Man, I feel sad. And heed the wise words of my own relationship and coparenting counselor, who noted that the first months after any divorce are the times of greatest conflict. They were saying money is going to be toilet paper." Its a good example of how divorce can get to an amicable place. Sorry to hear about this. I have flicked to this site over the years but not read in depth. My own breakup 22 years ago was incredibly emotionally and financially difficult. :-D. Our biology is against us when it comes to long, monogamous relationships. So your best strategy is to carve them out of your life, while keeping your words as kind and respectful as you possibly can. January 2, 2019, 10:32 pm. This was not my experience and it is my hope for those who are currently going through the initial stages of this process, or are years past the initial event and are still healing, to continue to let time work its mystical magic. I have a few questions: 1) Is there anything you and the mrs could have done different that could have prevented this? Too many couples marry on passion and spur of the moment decisions. I think they will! Toggle navigation. So anyway, what I wanted to say is that I came across your funny and enlightening Blog and I could see a way out my mess, Im older but I can still apply the FIRE plan and retire well at normal retirement age but I can try and make it happen in 5-10 years, thats what really has me super focused now. Pay attention to the new experiences you have on this journey. Christine T Fill your mind, body and spirit with positivity. The few comments I had read, the baseless speculation and entitlement were disgusting. But we can. Mr. Been There I have been rereading your blog to see how I can keep my head above water. Very brave to share that news. It's only with this blog that he really made it to multi-millionaire status. Unbeknownst to either she found out by accident. We are both doing well in forming new relationships and supportive of the others success in that important aspect of moving on. Thank you for everything you do MMM. MMM, good for you re civil divorce. I found that my attempts at rebuilding the marriage were never really a priority until I finally said I wanted to divorce and by then nothing was salvageable. Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. We were in constant communication, sometimes daily about what was happening in our kids worldhomework, sports, friends, etc. September 27, 1961. MMM never made the amount of money the frugalwoods did during his working career. May you find peace and joy within the grief and loss. Our financial planner had me working until age 68 (2022) I ran the numbers again with the tools and common sense you provided. January 1, 2019, 3:35 pm. And the benefits begin immediately if both people are working at it, every positive gesture from one side will be met with a positive one from the other, and they can reinforce each other into a beautiful upward spiral. Mr. Money Mustache is the website and pseudonym of 48-year-old [2] Canadian-born blogger Peter Adeney. Lewis wrote A Grief Observed after the death of his wife. Life is short. That cant be easy to do with some people being what they are. While I cant recommend any particular book, if youre looking for a great place to discuss this with other FIRE-minded women, check out http://www.reddit.com/r/FIREyFemmes. Cheers MoneyMan you continue to serve us with the truth as you know and youre a VERY generous man! We share plenty of time with our son and he is doing amazingly well because we are choosing to make this new life about growth rather than conflict. Texasproud Its an unhealthy mindset but I was young and stupid. Your story made me think about my situation and motivated me to let my spouse how much I appreciate what she does every day. (hug). And the fact that you can live so close and still have a great relationship is a sliver lining. Odds are against you if you meet and marry in your twenties. Its a shame he never wrote a follow-up piece on his post-marriage thoughts (she pre-deceased him by 3yrs), Katie Camel Appreciate your putting divorce in a positive light. Thanks for sharing and giving your perspective. Im so glad to hear you were able to find a suitable house nearby. Wishing you and your family a happy, healthy and peaceful new year. I dont think its over simplified at all. Being born and going through childhood is hard. Keep on keepin on. Focusing on the silver linings in life is something that I need to improve at, and this example can serve me well as a model. I have been married for almost twelve years now, and we have never fought I learned and taught my spouse how to solve differences with love, respect and flexibility. It was still extremely painful but she definitely played it to her advantage. We spent whatever we wanted, we just happened to have finite desires. I can totally understand what you went through. I am also going through a divorce after separating from my husband last February. Emotions get heavy in these situations. Mike, I hope you have come out of it okay. Hi! Do you think its good to have one? It is legendary for destroying lives and fortunes, and indeed this is sometimes accurate. . Sure, you want to see some earnings. 2) Do you have a pre-nup? Chapeau. House hacking might be an option. You may have to examine whether or not you can afford to live in your current home. And importantly, the kids knew it. I know this is unlikely but Im fine with never read that blog again. Anyway I have found my NY2019 resolution bring more love. He is amazing, the best man I know, and that helps. Someone who doesnt know your situation and can be objective. We would like to show you a description here but the site won't allow us. My wife and I are on pace to have 20x annual expenses by around my 40th birthday, in seven years. And for those who have been through this and gotten through the other side and found happiness, go ahead and share your message of hope. ; as my one and only quarter-of-a-century marriage had ended earlier in the year. For me my friends who had known me for decades came through like long time friends do. Do I love my wife and is she an overall wonderful human being? Every human needs and deserves to be accepted and loved even the people who drive us crazy and even those who treat us poorly. Although we had been drifting this way for a while, the formal change of our status is still less than a year old, so its still a topic that deserves some quiet respect*. If one kid was acting sassy or sullen all of a sudden, I collaborated with my ex. The dating pool for 40 plus people is actually a wonderful place, as long as you live in an area with your own type of people (for me this is educated, oudoorsy professional types preferably a bit quirky and artsy and nerdy as well). Anonymous Although that is not surprising since youre outrageously optimistic. Two great people, why would they divorce? My prior career doesnt exist in the US. I dont feel that I have any immediate risks with my marriage but I have to ask myself why I have put so little effort into improving this critical part of my life. I hope it wasn't, but as he said in the article, it's none of our damn business. Not a game of fairness, especially when children are involved. Ummm. This post inspired a talk with my husband. Best wishes to you MMM. You and the ex-Mrs have generously helped all of us with this blog and changed many lives for the better. And I find it to be important to pay attention to what peoples actions say, and how they can affect you, and how those actions affect relationships. My comment form allows you to use a pseudonym so you can be anonymous while you let out the truth. Best of luck but you dont need it; you got this. I told her I admired how she kept her cool cus she told no one not even any family because she said she knew how angry we would be at him. He and his wife had gotten a divorce. Much like all things in life, theres an ebb and a flow to post-divorce life. Hugs from the internet :), Mustachio December 31, 2018, 6:15 pm. What a reminder to tell my wife know how much she means to me, and then to show her with my actions. And this is fine if you don't mind being part-owner in a company whose top (dare I say, only) concerns are growth and profit. She gave them down payments on houses, cash, cars, more college assistance, etc. December 31, 2018, 7:44 pm. Mr. Money Mustache shares his early retirement secrets in an interview for the new Financial Independence Podcast! Coming off the back of a divorce I often marvel that something so personally painful as a relationship breakdown was so text book and the issues so run of the mill. Thanks for your words and all the best! The good news is that we have had about the most amicable separation that one could hope for, we all still spend plenty of time together and our son is still in the same loving environment he has always had. This may be a time to get a housemate, get assistance at your local food pantry, apply for any programs associated with low income households (utilities will lower your monthly bill, you may get some heating assistance, etc. Both of us can remain retired and continue to live in mortgage-free houses with investments easily covering our living expenses, while sharing child raising expenses. Yes! My wife and I have learned so much from you and we are forever grateful for your contributions to our family and friends and this society as a whole. Im sorry you were the subject of gossip, but Im glad youve risen above the nonsense with such a positive post. etc. My income ranges from $15(very slow monday)-$80(very busy Saturday night) with the average hovering around $25-30. The flipside of all this is that many, many people are currently married, who should not be and dont want to be. If you have any nature/environmental interests, see what you can find. But fortunately, like everything else, going to war is almost always achoice. You would go through a few months of training, and then do volunteer and advanced training to maintain your status. Sammykins I took the love languages quiz some time backs and really think each needs to be aware of each others language. The only way to survive this is to ignore it and focus on your own internal compass. The answer is NO. My mom was a strong introvert but was a community volunteer in a wide, wide variety of organizations (one at a time) to fulfill her social needs. Why are divorce attorneys so expensive? Aim to not fight ever during the process (even if you have to start from zero or negative). But Pete Adeney -- who is better known as Mr. Money Mustache -- would argue that's far from the truth. Hope to read more posts like this in the future! MMMlifestyle Thank you for sharing this. With some counselling and continued learning, I started the path to being a better me in the world. Im just not sure I think your numbers tell the whole story. And after a few years, many former divorcees have moved on so happily that cant even believe that they were ever angry at each other. I never would have expected that early retirement was possible with you. Marriage is a compromise, to be sure, but your starting assumptions are simply not factual. 3) Survival, Survival, and Survival! December 31, 2018, 5:44 pm. Pete Adeney, the man behind the blog . On top of all that Im not allowed to leave the US (kids were born here), where I had never worked before and without any family. Addendum #1: Case Study: Should Josiah buy his parents a house? [volume] (Rural Retreat, Va.) 1892-1918, January 26, 1912, Image 7, brought to you by Library of Virginia; Richmond, VA, and the National Digital Newspaper Program. They have sold nearly 40 million records worldwide and were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of . And we do. Your son is very lucky to have two parents who found a way to reasonably and fairly amicable way to end their marriage and preserve as much normalcy as possible. While my only experience in relationships was a year long, long distance relationship, when it ended, it was really horrible. And thank you for such a great blog! And for those being nagged: you cannotignorethe requests of your partner for years, and expectthemto forgive you for that either. Divorce - The cost of living is a little higher when you're single. The biggest thing I got from this is how you and your former wife are able to maintain a healthy atmosphere for your child!! For more casual sampling, have a look at this complete list of all posts since the beginning of time or download the mobile app. Actually, I find that I make a lot more if I drive a little faster and minimize delays. A friend That s right, my friend is a well connected Chengdu Tong.He also told me some other interesting things.What Wei Renwu spread his hands, pretending to be innocent and said Shouldn t you invite me in first to sit down and talk Shu Xin smiled and said, Mr.Wei is right, please come in.Shu . Hope your son is doing well and my best wishes for you all in 2019. Improving ourselves through better habits and health. Contact me if youd like to learn more. It is quite hard to stay positive and optimistic when your ex is abusing (verbally/mentally/physically, whatever), but it really is the best thing you can do. Or let me impart some wisdom, that shit can get old, Owl the Kitty I left the Nissan Leaf behind and chose not to buy a car of my own because I already have bikes. 1. What year did Mr money Mustache retire? But you two are awesome. But I just wanted to remind you that a pessimistic attitude like that is very self-fulfilling, especially in the area of finding future love. Same here. One of the best things you did was move down the street from your child. See, even the harshest moments come with a little golden key taped secretly onto their side, which you can use to unlock personal growth and greater future happiness. I wish (the former) Mrs. Money Mustache well! I'm going through a divorce and have to buy my ex out of his portion of the equity in our marital home, about $100k. My divorce and loss of five kids was the biggest tragedy of my life but has led to the best thing in life: a solid and reliable relationship with God that brings peace and eventually a new marriage. December 31, 2018, 5:51 pm. Last week I saw a thread where someone was planning on spending $150K for a fashion degree. Best wishes for 2019 and forward, hoping that they all will recover nicely from the divorce.